


something time can't fix

by MacaronWhip



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Depressive Thoughts, Gen, One Shot, Post-Canon, Suicide mention, idk if this really qualifies as a T rating but im slapping it down just in case, this is basically alice stewing over what jack did to everyone and about oz, trauma mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 07:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18615748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacaronWhip/pseuds/MacaronWhip
Summary: Sometimes people just can't sleep at night and end up thinking about their failures and bad happenings in their life. Everyone might be safe and happy now, but in such a situation, Alice has a bit to think about regarding Jack.But everything leads back to Oz for her, sooner or later.





	something time can't fix

**Author's Note:**

> hi! please forgive me if i got anything wrong or ooc, i havent read pandora hearts in a while but it's still very near and dear to me so i wanted to write a little on it!  
> also real quick this is set a few years post-canon, just in case i got numbers wrong  
> please enjoy!

The cool night air breezes by, accompanying her and gently playing in her hair as she stands on the balcony. There's a set of two chairs and a small table off to the side, but she'd much rather stand. The countryside's a familiar sight, comforting even. So she stares off into it, into the stars above it, into the space between the stars, into everything so familiar about the endless expanse stretched above her. It's another one of those nights where Oz is sleeping with Gil and even though the past haunts her tonight, Alice wouldn't dare wake them from their peaceful slumber. So she stands on the balcony and stares blankly out at everything, waiting until the memories stop or until she gets so tired she just sleeps right there.

115 years have passed, and another 104 added on top of that, yet she can't seem to shake the trauma Jack Vessalius riddled her with. He took her sister, he took her dearest friend, he took her family, he took her home, he took her life, her took her humanity, and then over a century later, he took her sister away a second time, and for good. She'll never come back, never reincarnate or live again like Alice is now, never. He took everything from her, and even now he's still taking, taking, taking. Taking her rest from her. Taking up her thoughts. Taking her peace of mind. 200 years can't wash away wounds so deep, not when they're so etched into her very existence. These are times where she wishes she wasn't born at all, that Alyss could've had a normal albeit lonely life. Maybe Jack wouldn't have manipulated them if there was only one, living on earth instead of the abyss. Maybe he would regardless. He certainly wouldn't have gotten his hands on Oz though.

Now that she thought about it, Oz wouldn't exist at all had it not been for her. Sure, Alyss was kind and gentle and all sorts of caring, but would she have thought to wake Oz up? To talk to him? Name him? Normally such depressive thoughts would be dismissed by Gil remarking on her being dumb to think that and sparking an argument between them, or by Oz distracting her with something or telling her how happy he was to be with her, but this was a new method all on its own. She could never think of Oz not existing. He was such a wonderfully good person, he deserved to be happy, to exist. All the hardship he went through was horrible and undeserved but...he was happy and safe now. She could never wish for anything but this happiness.

“Alice? What are you doing out here?”

She jumped. If she were a rabbit like she used to be as a chain, she probably would've jumped right off the balcony. Turning to see who was now behind her, of course it was the boy occupying her thoughts. Oz's hair was messy, his head cocked questioningly to the side. Still in his pajamas too, he probably woke up and went right to looking for her. “Are you thinking about something?” He asked, picking up on the obvious cue of Alice having been so lost in thought she didn't even hear him until he spoke.

“I'm, uh...just thinking about how if it weren't for me, you probably wouldn't even be here and all. You should thank me, you know. It's very disrespectful of you to not do that after 200 years.” She replied, folded her arms, and held her head high, which didn't do much considering Oz was more than a few inches taller than her by now. She had no good reason really to be acting all childish and haughty anymore, but like hell would she be vulnerable. It wasn't that she didn't love or trust Oz with her life, it was moreso a matter of her pride. Outright admitting 'oh yeah, I was just remembering the bastard that killed my family and used us and then I was regretting being alive for a brief moment' wasn't exactly her style.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily for her pride, Oz knew her well enough to decode that particular act of defense. “All that, huh...? Well...thank you, Alice!” He feigned thinking for a moment, then suddenly swept her up in a hug with his gratification. When she returned the hug, he continued. “Thank you so much, cause I really like being with you, and with Gil too! Don't worry about things that far behind in the past, okay?”

“O-okay...if you say so.” She was much quieter now after being seen through. Gentle silence settled over them as they stayed in their embrace for a moment.

“Come sleep with me and Gil tonight, you can help me hog the blanket from him.”

“...Alright.”

Oz smiled and patted her head once, twice, before letting her go and making his way back inside. Though Alice had paused, staring back out into the night for a moment, he knew she'd follow.

What she and everyone else had endured was, maybe, a grand tragedy. Maybe none of it would've happened if she didn't exist. Maybe it would've been for the better if she'd died for good when she grabbed those scissors. Maybe some of it was truly her fault.

But she was just a child then. But they _did_ stop Jack. But if it weren't for her, Oz wouldn't be around. She didn't want to even entertain the thought of a world without Oz. He made so many people happy, he made Gil happy, he made _her_ happy. It was only right that she return the happiness, and she was all too glad to do so.

So with one last lingering look into the night, she left her depressing thoughts on the balcony, off to join the boys in a warm bed. To return to her finally normal, loving life. Nights like this have happened before, and they'll surely happen again, but it's okay. She's not alone.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry the setting was a little vague, i imagine they all live in a manor or at least a pretty nice house after everything ;w; and also that they all sleep together at least every so often just for the security of being close, especially after being separated so long o o f  
> i might write a little more in the future exploring how everyone copes and deals with things, i really cant imagine anyones alright after all that mess... but idk, we'll see. thank you for reading!


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